There Once Was A Girl Turning 50…In A Few Weeks

There once was a girl turning fifty

Who thought of herself pretty nifty

She had many friends

And some of them hens

Cackling and laughing all night

She had quite a past she was hiding (not really)

In case they came after her while dining

She acted real tough

Even though things got rough

Cuz that’s how her cookie crumbled

She was full of life

And such the sexy wife

Who kept her man always smiling

She sure did love food

Everything was so damn good

Eating became a real passion

What lay ahead

She scratched her balding head

In the next fifty years to come?

She had a choice

To use her wise voice

And drink herself to oblivion

Ignoring her sagging giant arms

Yet watching them go jiggle jiggle

Multiple chins for her comfort

Which most definitely should be illegal

Life would be fine

With a lot of good wine

So she didn’t really have to worry

Botox was easily accessible

Although transformation – not possible

She looked at her thighs

With an abundance of sighs

But smiled when she saw no cellulite

It was what it was

Que sera sera

She was just going to have to accept it

So she forged on ahead

And went back to bed

Since she could no longer avoid it

She thought about her fate

But then it got very late

And off to slumberland she went 

Excitement grew near

Or was it something in her rear?

And she knew she could no longer wait

Because soon my good friends, she would open

 the next half-century gate 

33 thoughts on “There Once Was A Girl Turning 50…In A Few Weeks

  1. Older and wiser my friend! With all apologies to fine wine, you’re just getting better and better..with just a few band aids to hold you, er…, us together. Thanks for letting us sign your 50 year cast / guest book! 😉


      1. You know, yu can’t reach 50 without a little bumps and bruises and scars. Any one that has has lived in a cocoon and drank the milk of honey dew in the land of Xanadu. You are wiser and have at least one brown eye that looks like the eye of a 30 year old there. ..that I see. Iimagine your mind is one as well.


        1. You are so awesome! You always have the best things to say. LOL on the one eye I have revealed and thanks for thinking it’s one of a 30 year old. That’s quite the compliment – I’ve never been told that.


  2. I slid through the 50th. The 60th I couldn’t stop crying. My sister and I have a phrase we often use to end conversations – “It is what it is.” That covers most of our complaints. HA
    Enjoy your birthday!


    1. Crying through your 60s? Oh no! 🙂 You are so right, it is what it is! I have an agreement with my sister and cousins to allow each other to vent all we want, say, “yea, that really stinks” and not offer solutions unless asked. Sometimes you just want to vent and have someone hear you out. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂


  3. I just realised that its my Stepdads 50th on the same day as yours and we are going down to my mums to party on the 7th. I will tip my drink to you from across the globe! 😉


    1. This is so exciting!!! Everything about it except for the fact that I am the same age as your STEP father! You must be what? 10?? Ay, ay! How cool that you’ll be tipping your drink to me from across the globe – gotta love my blogging friends! 🙂


      1. My mum was a cradle snatcher second time around 😉 I also have a 18 and 15 year old brother and sister – I laugh at her that she still has at least another 6 years of kids at home hahaha


  4. So past her fifties she’ll swim.
    Her light just won’t dim.
    As she brightens all the lives around her…

    It’s a pleasure to know you.


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