Breaking News out of a Middle-Class Household
A middle-class family with one child in college and one beginning college in the fall, have received something very rare called, financial aid.
The family is still in a state of shock and have not been able to fully comprehend how this miracle was bestowed upon them. They ask that the media respect their privacy as they hold hands, chant and thank the heavens above for this much-needed blessing.
Earlier reports state that the child currently in college, never received any such aid two years ago, when he needed it the most. Understandably so, the family was very discouraged with a process that leaves middle-class families with little resources to pay for college. Many families like the Brickhouses, do not make enough money to afford sending their children to college but are told they make “too much” to qualify for aid.
The child who will be attending college in the fall, tried very hard not to let this sad fact stop her from pursuing her dreams and applying to the colleges that interested her. She worked tirelessly at school, was involved in many activities, played a varsity sport and held a part-time job. Although she never showed her parents her college essay, many have said that it was a killer essay.
This motivated child applied to TEN different colleges (giving her parents many sleepless drunken nights.) She was accepted to eight of them and was wait-listed at two. Agonizing months went by before hearing information about a financial package (if any) the government and/or the schools would award the desperate parents child.
Police were called to the home this weekend with a report of a mother and a father marching around the home in unison, in a catatonic zombie-like state, fearlessly pinching themselves over and over again in sheer disbelief. Once the police arrived at the scene, the parents explained that although they will be in debt for the rest of their lives with two in college, 4 of the child’s favorite colleges, had offered generous financial packages (based on merit and need), thus allowing their child to actually go to college. Police admitted that they had only heard of a few cases of middle-class families receiving such awards. They too were in disbelief.
It is reported that the Brickhouses are cautiously optimistic and admitted to reporters that they have recurring nightmares as well as daymares, that the Financial Aid Nazis will knock on their door any day now, to tell them that this was all a big mistake. Needless to say, they are not answering the door or phone until both their children are out of college, have successful jobs and are at least, 50.
The next couple of weeks will be critical as they re-visit some of these schools, eat lunch at their mediocre dining commons – again and go over the list of pros and cons 83 more times for each college, with their child.
Family and friends are asked to pray that the ‘this was all a big mistake monsters’ do not show up at their door or climb in through a window, to take their happiness away. They are also asked to pray that the parents survive the decision-making process of their hormonal 18 year-old daughter.
***Stay tuned for more DEVELOPING BREAKING NEWS out of a middle-class household***